I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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