I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
