Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You've changed since you got that strap on
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
