I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
