ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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