He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
