I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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