dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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