When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
