Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
