OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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