maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
