mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
