yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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