he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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