There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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