Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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