doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
