I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
