He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
