I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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