so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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