hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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