Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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