So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
