Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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