The best revenge is premature balding
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We are all done wearing pants today
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
