i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
