he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
