ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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