Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
