Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
