Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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