I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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