guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
