Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
