The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
