I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
