You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
