oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
