Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
