I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
