the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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