Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
