now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
