Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
