Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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