and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
