Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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