very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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