so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She even gives head with a lisp.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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