if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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