When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize