Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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