how can u be prego again
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
