she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize