I skipped work to stalk him.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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