she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
