okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
