I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
