this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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