I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Hippo gnu deer
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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