idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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